before I lost the 50 lbs.
before I lost the 50 lbs.

I walk on the Moore Park Ravine which tucks into the Rosedale area of Toronto, just above the new Brickworks development, by the eco-pond there, with its giant snapping turtle & the Blue Heron I saw the other day…

From my home, to the ravine trail, up to Moore road, then I turn around & return on the same trail, it is about 12 kilometres…

I began last Easter 2014 when I found a lump in my breast, & didn’t want to have any surgery…

When I began I was 50 lbs heavier than I am now, & the walk was shorter(I didn’t double back), & it took me forever, & I’d be exhausted afterwards…

Yesterday as I came back on the return portion of my journey, a little girl sailed past me on her bicycle, energetically pushing at the pedals to go even faster…

A ways to go, & maybe 10 minutes later, I saw her, turned the other way, & crying…

I turned down the volume all the way down on my music(I listen to Rock My Run music playlists), & asked:

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The little girl answered:” I don’t know where my group is, I cannot find them!”

I said:”Well, where was the last time you saw your group?”

She said:”They were behind me when I passed them…”

So I said:”Well, if they were behind you when you passed them, just wait a little, & they will catch up…”

She stopped crying & felt better at this logic…

Sure enough, just as we both watched & waited momentarily, 2 more little girls approached on bicycles with an older person who was obviously in charge…

There were a few moments where we explained what had happened (I explained to the group leader that the little girl had sped ahead of the group), & then the little girl got on her bike & started to ride…

The group leader turned to me & said:”Thank you so much…” He didn’t know what else to say, how appreciative he was that I had calmed her down & helped her to reunite with the group & so on…

I put my music back on, & continued my daily walk back home, feeling enlightened by being useful…

I also thought that this was a bit of a metaphor for my life right now…

Las year, when I declined surgery, I knew I was going to have to come up with some greatness in my research if I was going to live…

I wrote 5 books after that, documenting my ideas & practices, so I’d have a record & be able to look back on my notes later…

Also for other people…

I think possibly I sped so far ahead of the group that I lost my bearings a bit…

I’ve been feeling lonely…

I think maybe God was telling me, with the real life example of the little girl who sped ahead, that I should just wait a little bit until the rest of the group catches up…

Then I won’t feel so lonely…

You can download small versions of all 8 books for free here on NoiseTrade(who just recently offered me a space on their new site, which made me feel a bit like the group is starting to catch up to me, & me a little less lonely for the invitation)…